I've noticed lately that instead of working through the bumps in friendships, I shut them off. Done. Never again will I make the same mistake with the same person. I am incapable of direct communication. I am very good at silence. And maybe some barbed remarks.

I cut T out of my life for what I thought was the last time over 6 months ago. A few weeks ago he emailed me saying he missed me and wondered when I was coming home next. I invited him to join my friends and I for a drink...I wasn't going to risk seeing him alone again. He was the first one to show up at the bar, and he asked why I never called him after I spent the night last September. He hadn't realized we were in a fight. We couldn't go any further with that conversation, because my friends showed up.

I'm back home now. And I just called him to try to pick back up with our talk. But the machine answered. I couldn't bring myself to leave an awkward message. So I hung up. I don't know if I'll try again. But it's a step toward being a direct communicator. I'm glad of that, at least.

I think I need to next try direct communication with the young coworker. I cut out all emailing and IMing outside of work after he hurt my feelings. I can imagine he's very confused...but I also think we're just a lost cause.

Dear Mr. Online-Dating Match:

1. Under the "what I've read lately" section, don't put the DaVinci Code or Angels and Demons. Dan Brown novels are a deal breaker. Much like I imagine John Grisham novels were deal-breakers in the '90s. 's true.

2. Under the "things only my best friends know about me" section, don't put you'll have to wait to get to know me ;). That's not the point. The point is to write a fun or interesting fact about yourself. Trust me, you're not being original by putting a cutesy-evasive statement.


3. Under the "who I'm looking for" section, don't put someone who is sexy or someone who is easy on the eyes. We know that's what you want. Stop being a douche.

I kind of love that guys are closing me as their matches. It has recently come to my attention that I'm not ready to date anyone. Hence my severe panic-induced nausea at the thought of actually having to go on a date.